From Mid-Year to Mid-Life

It's almost June and I haven't posted. That's not to say that not much has happened. In fact, so much has happened that I haven't really had the time to sit down and write.

But in these few minutes in front of the desktop, I've realized that, in the past few months, my days have not only come to be measured time-wise (mid-year) but have suddenly come to be measured life-wise (mid-life). Why?

In March, Kokoy graduated from Grade 7 at the Ateneo. The celebration began with the baccalaureate mass in early March, where Kokoy gave the introduction for their Thanksgiving Song:

On March 27, 2008, Kokoy marched proudly up the stage at the Graduation ceremonies held at the Ateneo High School, and received his St. Ignatius Award, Medal for 1st Place in Elocution, and Academic Excellence medals and certificates.

In March, my younger brother Paolo got married to his fiance of 5 years, Tin Rodriguez. It was a picturesque wedding in Tagaytay. Kokoy got to look dashing in black tie (as seen below with his Papa-lo, my father-in-law, Atty. Rolando de Castro). However, a tragedy of sorts befell us and me, my wife Rox and my mother-in-law were not able to attend the wedding - story below.

In mid-March, actually just before Holy Week, I fell sick. I caught a particularly bad cold or flu virus that really brought me down. I had fever, a sore throat, burning eyes, aching body and joints, clogged sinuses, cough and just about everything related to colds and flu. Probably because of that very weakened state, I don't know why but it seemed to have triggered my still-undiagnosed-then seizures. Early one morning, I woke up to go to the bathroom and before I knew it, I collapsed unconscious. But because I was trying to fight it, it must have been only an instant. Nevertheless, from a standing position, I found myself sitting on the floor. I also remember just before that split-second blackout that I tried to grab hold of the refrigerator beside me. Maybe that's how I sort of broke my fall. I was able to get back to bed however and told Rox about it in the morning.

Since I was already taking medicine for my colds and flu, we thought that as soon as I got better, everything would already be okay. On Black Saturday, we had to go up to Tagaytay for my brother's wedding. I made the trip although it was certainly tiring because of the very heavy traffic and the stressful last-minute concerns that arose from my brother's wedding. On Easter Sunday, ironically, the resurrection of the Lord, I together with my family and my in-laws went to hear mass at Lourdes church. And then it happened.

After the Gospel reading, I already told my wife that I thought that I should just sit down. I told her that it might be better if I go outside since I felt like the church was stuffy and suffocating. She said that it might be worse since we didn't know where the driver had gone with the car. In a few more seconds, I told her that I would just lean on her and lay my head on her shoulder because I was really about to pass out.

Next thing I knew, I was lying in the pew and my father-in-law was in front of me, trying to wake me up while Rox was beside me crying. My son, Kokoy was sitting at the other end, helpless and shocked. Apparently, it appeared that I had a seizure. I had lost consciousness and slumped forward onto the kneeler, my eyes rolled up and making weak moaning noises (I wasn't jerking or stiff or having spasms). But I was fully unconscious and could not be awakened until I myself woke up. Fortunately, because of the commotion, a doctor in the front pew saw what was happening and assisted my father-in-law and my wife. They laid me down on the seat, loosened my clothing and started massaging my extremeties to get my blood flowing. In a while, I had warmed up and the color had returned to my skin.

It wasn't over yet. They almost carried me out of the church to make sure that I didn't collapse again although I managed to walk already. Outside, the vehicle was already in the driveway. Inside, we found my mother-in-law sitting in pain. All that time, nobody knew that she had rushed out when I had my seizure, to call the driver. In her haste, she had slipped in the steps of the church, fell and fractured her arm. Fortunately, there also were doctors outside who had assisted her to get up and get into the vehicle.

And so we were both rushed to the emergency room of the Estrella Hospital in Tagaytay. I was given a quick examination while Mommy's arm was put in a cast. She was in so much pain. Because of that, Papa had to call my sister-in-law and brother-in-law for them to rush up to Tagaytay to help bring us back to Manila. On an Easter Sunday. With all the traffic. Because of what happened also, Rox and I had to leave Kokoy behind with Papa since they had parts to play in the wedding of my brother. By mid-afternoon, we had been fetched and, after sad good-byes to Kokoy and Papa, were on the way to Manila. I had no time to even really advise my brother anymore because they were themselves already engrossed with the wedding at 3:30 pm. By late afternoon, we arrived in Manila. Mommy was brought straight to another hospital for further treatment and check-up. I was brought to the house where I tried to rest. It was so disheartening and I felt so guilty.

In the next two weeks, I tried to regain strength and rest. I also underwent a number of tests, , i.e., MRI for seizure protocol, 24-hour heart monitor / holter, etc. At this point, it is still pretty undetermined but there is a stronger likelihood that I what I had experienced were seizures, more nervous-system related rather than cardiovascular-system related. By this time, at least Mommy has had her cast removed and it seems her arm has healed well. She still has to undergo therapy though to regain full motion and strength for that arm.

Then, in April, we learned that my sister, Camille, had passed the 2007 Bar Examinations. She was inducted last April 29 and so is now a lawyer. That only highlighted to me the fact that I had taken up law in the early 90s but had to stop because of work considerations. Then in the past years, it really has been quite impossible because of the financial constraints since I have been supporting my family (living accommodations and utilities for my parents, brother and sister) in addition to my own family. So looking at that recent development, it just makes me wonder if I'll ever get to realize some of my other aspirations as well.

And that is how "mid-year" changed, literally, in a few unconscious seconds, into "mid-life". Of course I'm trying to look at the positive side of things and that's one of the reasons why I want to continue working on this on-line record. I need to keep this for my wife, Rox, and my son, Kokoy.

While I'm posting this only this year (2013), I wrote this draft actually back in May 2008 (just to put things in perspective time-wise and life-wise hahaha)