From Mid-Year to Mid-Life

It's almost June and I haven't posted. That's not to say that not much has happened. In fact, so much has happened that I haven't really had the time to sit down and write.

But in these few minutes in front of the desktop, I've realized that, in the past few months, my days have not only come to be measured time-wise (mid-year) but have suddenly come to be measured life-wise (mid-life). Why?

In March, Kokoy graduated from Grade 7 at the Ateneo. The celebration began with the baccalaureate mass in early March, where Kokoy gave the introduction for their Thanksgiving Song:

On March 27, 2008, Kokoy marched proudly up the stage at the Graduation ceremonies held at the Ateneo High School, and received his St. Ignatius Award, Medal for 1st Place in Elocution, and Academic Excellence medals and certificates.

In March, my younger brother Paolo got married to his fiance of 5 years, Tin Rodriguez. It was a picturesque wedding in Tagaytay. Kokoy got to look dashing in black tie (as seen below with his Papa-lo, my father-in-law, Atty. Rolando de Castro). However, a tragedy of sorts befell us and me, my wife Rox and my mother-in-law were not able to attend the wedding - story below.

In mid-March, actually just before Holy Week, I fell sick. I caught a particularly bad cold or flu virus that really brought me down. I had fever, a sore throat, burning eyes, aching body and joints, clogged sinuses, cough and just about everything related to colds and flu. Probably because of that very weakened state, I don't know why but it seemed to have triggered my still-undiagnosed-then seizures. Early one morning, I woke up to go to the bathroom and before I knew it, I collapsed unconscious. But because I was trying to fight it, it must have been only an instant. Nevertheless, from a standing position, I found myself sitting on the floor. I also remember just before that split-second blackout that I tried to grab hold of the refrigerator beside me. Maybe that's how I sort of broke my fall. I was able to get back to bed however and told Rox about it in the morning.

Since I was already taking medicine for my colds and flu, we thought that as soon as I got better, everything would already be okay. On Black Saturday, we had to go up to Tagaytay for my brother's wedding. I made the trip although it was certainly tiring because of the very heavy traffic and the stressful last-minute concerns that arose from my brother's wedding. On Easter Sunday, ironically, the resurrection of the Lord, I together with my family and my in-laws went to hear mass at Lourdes church. And then it happened.

After the Gospel reading, I already told my wife that I thought that I should just sit down. I told her that it might be better if I go outside since I felt like the church was stuffy and suffocating. She said that it might be worse since we didn't know where the driver had gone with the car. In a few more seconds, I told her that I would just lean on her and lay my head on her shoulder because I was really about to pass out.

Next thing I knew, I was lying in the pew and my father-in-law was in front of me, trying to wake me up while Rox was beside me crying. My son, Kokoy was sitting at the other end, helpless and shocked. Apparently, it appeared that I had a seizure. I had lost consciousness and slumped forward onto the kneeler, my eyes rolled up and making weak moaning noises (I wasn't jerking or stiff or having spasms). But I was fully unconscious and could not be awakened until I myself woke up. Fortunately, because of the commotion, a doctor in the front pew saw what was happening and assisted my father-in-law and my wife. They laid me down on the seat, loosened my clothing and started massaging my extremeties to get my blood flowing. In a while, I had warmed up and the color had returned to my skin.

It wasn't over yet. They almost carried me out of the church to make sure that I didn't collapse again although I managed to walk already. Outside, the vehicle was already in the driveway. Inside, we found my mother-in-law sitting in pain. All that time, nobody knew that she had rushed out when I had my seizure, to call the driver. In her haste, she had slipped in the steps of the church, fell and fractured her arm. Fortunately, there also were doctors outside who had assisted her to get up and get into the vehicle.

And so we were both rushed to the emergency room of the Estrella Hospital in Tagaytay. I was given a quick examination while Mommy's arm was put in a cast. She was in so much pain. Because of that, Papa had to call my sister-in-law and brother-in-law for them to rush up to Tagaytay to help bring us back to Manila. On an Easter Sunday. With all the traffic. Because of what happened also, Rox and I had to leave Kokoy behind with Papa since they had parts to play in the wedding of my brother. By mid-afternoon, we had been fetched and, after sad good-byes to Kokoy and Papa, were on the way to Manila. I had no time to even really advise my brother anymore because they were themselves already engrossed with the wedding at 3:30 pm. By late afternoon, we arrived in Manila. Mommy was brought straight to another hospital for further treatment and check-up. I was brought to the house where I tried to rest. It was so disheartening and I felt so guilty.

In the next two weeks, I tried to regain strength and rest. I also underwent a number of tests, , i.e., MRI for seizure protocol, 24-hour heart monitor / holter, etc. At this point, it is still pretty undetermined but there is a stronger likelihood that I what I had experienced were seizures, more nervous-system related rather than cardiovascular-system related. By this time, at least Mommy has had her cast removed and it seems her arm has healed well. She still has to undergo therapy though to regain full motion and strength for that arm.

Then, in April, we learned that my sister, Camille, had passed the 2007 Bar Examinations. She was inducted last April 29 and so is now a lawyer. That only highlighted to me the fact that I had taken up law in the early 90s but had to stop because of work considerations. Then in the past years, it really has been quite impossible because of the financial constraints since I have been supporting my family (living accommodations and utilities for my parents, brother and sister) in addition to my own family. So looking at that recent development, it just makes me wonder if I'll ever get to realize some of my other aspirations as well.

And that is how "mid-year" changed, literally, in a few unconscious seconds, into "mid-life". Of course I'm trying to look at the positive side of things and that's one of the reasons why I want to continue working on this on-line record. I need to keep this for my wife, Rox, and my son, Kokoy.

While I'm posting this only this year (2013), I wrote this draft actually back in May 2008 (just to put things in perspective time-wise and life-wise hahaha)

2007 Round-Up

Well, its official!

It's finally 2008 and I think this is going to be a great year.

But first, here's a little rejoinder to the year that was: 2007.

Milestones:

1. Kokoy and his soccer team, RIFA Ateneo born 1993-94, bested teams from all over the Metro to represent the National Capital Region in this year's Palarong Pambansa at Koronadal, Cotabato. It was a hotly-contested series of matches between Southridge and Ateneo during the eliminations. Kokoy and his power team managed to beat Southridge, but just. In the Palaro itself, it was the teams from the Visayan region that, expectedly, won in their division. Nevertheless, Kokoy and his team put up a good fight. More importantly, all, including us parents, enjoyed the camaraderie and friendships made. Who can forget the daily pig-outs at Mang Goryo's?!
2. Kokoy (again!) finally succeeded in his battle against the 'bulge'! Over part of summer, after the Palaro, while in Cagayan de Oro, Kokoy shed off about 30 to 40 lbs! by dieting and burning all the excess with soccer and being hyper-active. Of course it helped that he had all the fun-filled activities with his soccer teammates and cousins at Duka Bay Resort and CDO as well.
   
3. Towards the latter part of the year (actually in December), I got a hefty salary adjustment and a promotion to boot. My hard work paid off!
4. Rox finally got a laptop (a birthday gift from me!) for her to be able to finish her masteral degree in Education. Whether she will actually get to use it, however, is the burning issue now as the laptop is 'eternally' with Kokoy because he needs it 'daw' for his IM, Multiplicity, Limewire, etc.
5. Kokoy won the grade level Elocution contest on the piece, "I am Proud I am a Filipino". Just watch this! (am working on uploading the video still)
6. On a personal note, I have a lot to thank God for, especially for spiritual blessings in our journey of life that helped us overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges.
7. Kokoy ran for the presidency again of his class and for the first time since Grade Four, he lost. Having been a president for the last three years in grades 4, 5 and 6, it was a very painful loss, seeing as this was also his last year in the grade school. But what he may have lost in terms of formation by not being a class officer, I think he gained equally, if not much more, in terms of the life experiences, challenges and especially free-wheeling fun that he had again as a "regular", non-officer student. We saw Kokoy regain his old bibong-bibo, charismatic, ma-kuwento, humorous and open self. Ultimately, seeing him relaxed, becoming the much-loved guy in his class once again (free from having to play "teacher's eyes and ears" and disciplinarian to his classmates) and enjoying everyday of his last year in grade school is worth more than the "yearbook-friendly" achievement and "list-worthy" distinction of having been elected president of his class.
8. For me, also, Rox and I going to the Palarong Pambansa games with Kokoy this year was the best time we had in years as a family and, moreso, as a married couple. It was truly a second honeymoon! Getting to Koronadal, alone, was an adventure! After planing in to Gensan from Manila, we had to take a "shuttle" - really a medyo broken-down FX - to the Yellow Bus station. From there, we (obviously) took the Yellow bus to Koronadal. Then a short motorella ride to the hotel. It was a bit of a herculian task seeing as we had two 30+ kilo luggages, umbrellas, portable chairs, and even a palanggana! They told us that we'd be out in the boondocks, and there might be little or no amenities. Thankfully, it was not at all what we expected! The Hotel Romana where we were booked, was just along the main road in Koronadal and just opposite the big KC Mall, which, by mall standards, was not too bad! At least there was a well-stocked grocery together with Chowking and Jollibee, which was a big relief to the boys. The hotel was also near the "famous" Mang Goryo's, which Rox and I discovered and which became the instant hang-out of the parents. We'd begin our tiring but fun daily laundry routine in the bathroom after which we'd have the morning breakfast in the KC Mall. Then we'd serve as the pep squad, cheering for Kokoy and his team in the morning match, if there was one, then we'd have lunch again at KC Mall or at the Notre Dame University. Then in the afternoon, we'd provide the gatorade and moral support to the boys again and finally end the day with the sumptious chicken barbeque or grilled seafood and halo-halo at Mang Goryo's! Back at the Romana Hotel, we'd do the day's laundry and wash up after having ridden the motorelas the whole day, then plop into a small bed with the blankets shaped into swans! After the Palaro, we travelled cross-country ("sort of") from Cotabato to Cagayan de Oro. The road trip was also something to experience. It wasn't a typical "honeymoon" but the togetherness we celebrated just being by ourselves and the simple joys we experienced as a couple - focused on just the two of us - was priceless.
   
9. This year we were also able to have the roof of the house at Fort repainted. It was a bit early, as we would have wanted to have it done after 5 years. But the original paint of the roof apparently was not up to par so the roofing company had to re-paint the roof. Good thing was at least it was free and we got to have the roof repainted the color we wanted next which was chocolate brown. We were also able to have the gates repainted chocolate brown as well. So what remains is for the exterior of the house and, hopefully, that will be done in 2008.
10. Last, but definitely not the least, Kokoy "officially" turned into a teen this year. Maybe it was his turning 13, maybe it was his Palaro experience, maybe it was his shedding of baby fat, maybe it was coming into Grade 7. Whatever it was, Kokoy is definitely on the road to becoming a young adult and both Rox and I are excited to be on this journey with him.
    

My Son, the Model

Until about two Christmases ago, we still didn't have a digital camera. That's why I know that we missed a lot of photo ops while Kokoy was growing up. Of course, we had our trusty film camera but the convenience and inexpensiveness - in the long run - of digital media just can't be beat.

Still, despite the few times that Kokoy was in front of a camera, somehow, he had this natural knack for knowing what to do and how to look good. Just look at the following:

Check out the emotional range:

And, of course, the requisite distant gaze into nothingness of all models:

Although, he did have a pre-disposition at this time, to flash his butt to the world (we're not really sure why. perhaps, a political statement?):



Now, in his teens: (thankfully, no more butt flashing...yet)






BTW, his mom, Rox, is his agent. Ha! Ha!

Le dîner est servi

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."

- - - George Bernard Shaw

Last December 24 was Mama's birthday and, it being the bisperas ng Pasko, the family had our traditional Christmas dinner as well. I guess we've all been gourmands of some sort, which is why in the past few years whenever there is a special occasion and the family decides not to dine out at some new resto, we each prepare a dish to lay on the dining table.

It doesn't matter if it's from a recipe book or something whipped up from scratch. Atypically, our taste buds savor most anything that isn't the familiar lutong-bahay Filipino fare. Not that we don't appreciate a scrumptious serving of grilled seafood, inihaw na baboy, kare-kare and ensaladang mangga.

Below, this is the pasta with sausage that my sister Princess brought.


Here, we have the potatoes with garlic and fish with almonds that my younger sister, Cris, prepared.


Below is the chicken with white sauce dish prepared by my brother Paolo's fiancee, Tin. They actually also prepared another super-delicious dish, stuffed tomatoes, as well as a to-die-for dessert. But I guess in my rush to eat them, I forgot to take photos.


Finally below we have the fresh veggie salad that Rox and I prepared.

You know You've Got a Teenager When...

Its amazing to see how things can change in the blink of an eye.

Just two years ago, my son, Francisco Gabriel or Kokoy, still wanted toys for Christmas. If it wasn't a PS2 or PSP, it would be some new fangled toy that was suddenly popular in school. He also would hate to receive clothes and would proceed to sulk in a corner whenever he'd excitedly rip off the wrapper from a gift, only to find out that he'd been given a t-shirt or pair of shorts.

Last year, it was no more toys. His desires changed to gadgets: an ipod or some sort of mp3 player and a cellphone.

This year, its a high-end cellphone with a decent (at least 2 mega-pixel) camera, bluetooth, music player and, preferably, clamshell style. And, finally, he WANTS clothes! Clothes! CLOTHES! Topman / Zara / Celio / Penshoppe / Bench / Springfield t-shirts, hoody jackets, jeans, cargo pants and shorts, havaianas slippers, vans sneakers, addidas rubbershoes, sunglasses, and the list goes on and on.

Already, he's urging me to get another laptop so that he can, no doubt, happily spend the day tapping, tapping, tapping the keys in YM, Multiply or what-have-you. And, OMG, he's already eyeing the family car and whispering that it's high time that we get a new one. He's also broached the idea of having a separate condo especially for his college years.

Ang kabataan nga naman...

Believe it Or Not

Yesterday, we were at the house in Fort and we had the usual kwentuhan that started from the late breakfast of Papa, Mama and Cris, through lunch and that lasted 'til early afternoon. My brother Paolo was there with his fiancee, Tin, as well.

What with the beginning of tele-babad exploits of our budding teenager, Francisco, and the recent participation of Paolo and Tin in the Discovery Weekend with their upcoming wedding next year, the topic of conversation drifted towards the fabled "blessing" (or "curse", depending on whether or not you're part of the skirt-wearing gender) of a Sotto / Sevilla Male as being dangerously matinik / ladies' man / chickboy.

Rox quickly recounted how Lola Grata had given her, shortly after we were wed, this "advice of a grandmother to a newly-wed granddaughter-in-law". Lola told her to "prepare" herself for possible heartache because of my high likelihood to go gallivanting. After all, the man she had married (me), was "Sotto na, Sevilla pa"!

Believe it Or Not!

Eulogy to My Lola: Grata Sotto Sevilla

DONI'S RESPONSE ON THE OCCASION OF LOLA GRATA'S FUNERAL MASS AT THE DELA STRADA CHURCH

JUNE 10, 2001

Magandang hapon po sa inyong lahat. Ako po ay si Doni Sevilla, anak ng kaisa-isang anak ni Lola Grata, na si Rene "Budging" Sevilla at isa sa apat na apo na mapalad na pinalaki sa kanlungan ni Lola. Mayroon na po akong asawa (isa pa lang) ang kabiyak ko po na maganda at very charming na si Rox. Kami po'y may isang anak, si Kokoy, that handsome young gentleman, na mahal na mahal namin, at isang malusog na batang nakikita niyong tumatakbo sa paligid-ligid natin.

Please allow me to say a few words about Lola and our Eucharistic celebration today on behalf of my family.

Siguro tulad ko, lahat tayo dito, mga kapamilya, kamag-anak o kaibigan ni Lola, ay may kanya-kanyang mga masasayang karanasan o nakakatuwang kuwento tungkol kay Lola. Si Lola 'yung unang PR consultant ko. Nung pinanganak pa lang nga ako sinabi na ni Lola na maitim daw ako, in contrast to Princess, dahil nasunog ang balat ko sa incubator, mangyari tatlong buwan ako doon after my premature birth. Underneath, tisoy talaga ako.

I'm sure, many of us, especially my cousins here, can also remember summers we'd spent with Lola in Marinduque.

Every summer, mayroon si Lolang kinokonduct na special activities for the youth, first-aid training o kaya bible study classes at kasama kami ni Princess, wala pa noon si Paolo at si Cris. Siempre, lagi kami ang "valedictorian" nung mga klaseng iyon.

Every summer, binibigyan din ako ni Lola ng isang pet, yung hayop para aalagaan ko. Una, isang tandang. Inalagaan ko iyon hanggang ipinasabong ko doon sa kapit-bahay na si Dr. Do kaya't namatay at naging fried-chicken. Susunod naman, binigyan ako ni Lola ng biik. Pinapaliguan ko iyon araw-araw. Di rin nagtagal, naging lechon de leche naman iyon. At ang huli, binigyan ako ni Lola ng igod, yung coconut crab. Aba, alam nyo ba na ginawa kong parang aso iyon - tinalian ko tapos pinapalakad ko doon sa taas sa sala. Pinapakain ko rin yon ng niyog at tapos pinapaliguan ko rin. Siempre, yun, ako na ang nagsabi kay Lola na kainin namin. Nung nakatira pa kami sa old San Juan naman, yung labahan namin sa likod ng bahay, ipina-convert ni Lola para maging isang malaking fish pond na pinuno namin ni Princess ng mga goldfish. Nung namatay na yung mga isda, naging swimming pool na namin yon.

Lola was always the quintessential grandmother, full of love, always giving, always caring - - traits she wanted to build up in us, her grandchildren which is why she always gave us something or someone to care for. Did you know that aside from our cousins, meron pa kaming "assigned" playmates. Oo, yung anak ng caretaker ng bahay sa Gasan, sina Tio Tomo at Tia Thelma, ang anak nilang babae at lalake ang mga designated na kalaro namin ni Princess.

As we were growing up in old San Juan, Lola and Daddy (as we called Lolo Cesar), were a part of many firsts in our lives: our first go-carts, first bicycles, first roller skates, first pasyal sa Fiesta Carnival, first pasyal sa Luneta, and first dates, boyfriends and girlfriends.

Flash forward to our adolescent years. Pasensiya na Princess, bibistuhin ko yung love life mo. Lola was always one of, if not the first "line of defense" sa bahay. Siempre, siya ang unang mangingilatis, magpipisil-pisil, kukurot-kurot. When Princess would have dates, Lola would talk to them and even tell them how she always wanted Princess to marry and have a family. Kaya siguro medyo natakot lahat, eh, akala nila ina-arrange na ni Lola ang marriage. Si Paolo, laging pinagdadasal ni Lola na maging pari. At si Cris naman, mahal na mahal din niya dahil sila ay naging roommates and bedmates until Cris was in high school.

Sa amin naman ni Rox, nung single pa kami, si Lola parati ang financier ko sa mga dates ko with Rox. Siempre, bilang financier, tinatanong niya at kinakamusta rin niya sa driver kung saan kami nagda-date ni Rox. Meron pa si Lolang mga "secret tests". Minsan, pinakita ni Lola kay Rox ang kanyang tsinelas na pudpod na pudpod na pero wala naman siyang sinabi. Eh, the following day, hindi ko alam, binili pala ni Rox si Lola ng tsinelas at ipinabigay sa akin kay Lola. Aba, pasado. Kinuwento niya ito sa amin nung kasal na kami. So, masayang-masaya si Lola when I married Rox. And when Rox was pregnant, si Lola ang kanyang whole-day companion sa bahay sa Greenhills. Of course, when Kokoy was born, yung legendary love and care ni Lola ay lalong ipinamalas niya. Hindi nga puwedeng pagsabihan si Kokoy. Kahit kaming magulang, hindi dapat pagalitan si Kokoy.

Such was Lola's presence in our lives that now we are so deeply saddened by her passing away not just for us but also for Lola, herself, because she was so good a grandmother, so good a mother, wife, tiya, kamag-anak, teacher, friend to us all. Limitless and without consolation would have been our sorrow, if the Lord had not given us eternal life. Our life would be pointless, as Lola's life would be pointless, if it ended with death. What benefit would there then be from virtue and good deed?

That reminds me, when we were still living in old San Juan and even in Greenhills, on several occasions we'd find Lola with perfect strangers in her room. Tinatawagan niya yung mga nasa TV, Tele-Aralan or sa mga Dept. of Agriculture yata iyon, to bring her books or educational materials. Siempre, kami, panick kami nang makita namin ang ibang mga tao sa kuwarto ni Lola.

But now I believe Lola was not naïve. I believe she was not gullible or innocent of the ways of the world. On the contrary, I believe she was, in truth, filled with the Holy Spirit and was living in God's perfection so much that her trust, love and compassion was on a higher level. Lola was not left behind by the world. It was the world that needed to catch up with Lola. We are taught in Scripture that, "ang mga taong di nagtataglay ng Espiritu ay ayaw tumanggap ng mga kaloob mula sa Espiritu ng Diyos. Para sa kanila, kahangalan ang mga iyon at di nila nauunawaan, sapagkat ang mga bagay na espiritual ay mauunawaan lamang sa paraang espiritual".

And so it is that we should all aspire to be filled with the Holy Spirit as I believe Lola was. For then, we will realize that our earthly life is a preparation for the future life, and this preparation ends with our death. "It is appointed unto man once to die, but after this the judgment" (Heb 9:27). Then a man leaves all his earthly cares; the body disintegrates, in order to rise anew at the Resurrection. Often this spiritual vision begins in the dying even before death, and while still seeing those around them and even speaking with them, they see what others do not see.

That was Lola. We should all be so blessed as Lola, na masasabi natin nang buong katapatan na hindi tayo bihag ng mundo. That we are not caught by earthly trappings, material wealth, power, ambition, human pride. That we may say to the Lord that we have been obedient and good stewards of His creation, His blessings bestowed on us and most of all, of His gift of Life and Love.

Through our prayers and remembrance today, we incorporate and affirm our dearly departed Lola Grata in the death and resurrection of Christ. We celebrate the tragedy of the physical death of Lola as being the very sign and victory of Christ's death and resurrection. And that is our unique vision of death - and life - as Christians, our vision that calls on the rest of the community to persevere more deeply and zealously in the baptismal way of dying and rising in Christ, so that in our last breaths we can become witnesses to the "glory of the Father".

So please join me and my family today, in this moment of celebration for Lola's oneness with god, and join us in this moment of gratitude and thankfulness for Lola Grata and the love she has left with all of us.

To all who grieved, no, celebrated, with us these past days up until today, we thank you sincerely. For all of you have offered prayers and Holy Masses for Lola, maraming salamat. And for all of you who have made Lola a part of your lives, you are and will always be a part of ours, too. We pray that God will always shine His light and shower His love and blessings in your lives. God bless you all and Good afternoon.